Monday, January 11, 2010

Set the Garmin for the Bahamas, and let's go!

For years I have travelled the same route to work, hardly ever diverting from the known highways and back roads. But recently I decided to place myself in the trusty hands of my Garmin - the nifty device I use to guide me to random crime scenes and the like, and see what route it would choose to follow from my home to my parking bay in the Joburg CBD.
The distance we are talking about here is about 15 to 18 kms, depending on traffic diversion tactics deployed and the status of the ongoing roadworks all around the giant building site that is our city. And blow me down - it took me through parts that I never knew existed.
I have now driven this route several times in both directions and am still making some remarkable discoveries. There are businesses, apparently thriving happily, that I would never have guessed would have been dreamed up by anyone to start off with. Like a giant supermarket named Vaganza. I am serious. I am imagining somebody decided to open up a new supermarket one day and decided to be creative about naming it and smooshed two words together to come up with a whole new one. Now, assuming that the second word was 'bonanza', I cannot imagine why they chose the other one - unless they couldn't spell vegetable properly, and intended to go big on the fresh produce line. I mean - Vaganza?? I still find it quite an alarming name for a place where people do their grocery shopping.
And then there is a little medical centre. Here, in a country where doctors are not allowed to advertise, there is a place with large wording on the door offering patients the services: "Warts" and "Small operations" at discounted prices. Really.
For the cash-strapped, I have found Kwikfin - seemingly some kind of loan shark set-up with jolly vibe, where you can get a speedy loan.
Best of all, on the border of an industrial site, I discovered this entertainment spot which has appeared to be a less-than-rocking joint every time I have passed it. In fact, it is in such a dodgy area that I photographed it while driving past, unwilling to stop and get out for fear of jeopardising my safety.
Yes - I present the "Bahamas", complete with the weird Statue of Liberty image along with a cheesy "In Music and Fun we trust" logo that is sure to annoy every passing American.
Check it out. I am sure you can feel the vibe already. Next best thing to the real deal, for sure!


  1. Teehee... I doubt thats a side of Joburg that any American is ever going to see!