Chatting in the car...

Video footage of a traffic cop assaulting a taxi driver, pepper spraying him in the face and kicking him around emerged today, so off I zooted to Metro Cop Headquarters. I was stoked when my mate Jeans-and-Tackies was assigned to go with me - we had done the last big metro cop announcement together so we knew the place and where we were headed. Last time she drove our car into the wall, so I decided to drive this time.
We were given one of the stone-age bottom-of-the-range cars that we generally get to use when covering riots in Alex and stuff like that - I think the guy in charge of the cars knows Jeans-and-Tackies tendency to not brake quite quick enough before smacking into solid objects. We turned down the African choral music blaring from the tape player (I was not exaggerating when I described this collection of dents on wheels as old!) and launched into good old chit chat.
Jozi Journo: So yesterday when I went out to cover the buses on the bridge drama I met a Zimbabwean taxi driver called Two Minutes.
J-a-T: Two Minutes? His real name was Two Minutes:
JJ: Serious. His name was actually Two Minutes.
J-a-T: Yo yo yo! His mother must have given birth in two minutes or something like that. Eish - some of these Zimbabweans have funny names hey! I have met a guy called Conference. And then there was this one beautiful girl. I mean really, really beautiful. And what was her name? Daylight! Can you imagine? Daylight.
J J: Ja, well a few years ago I was helping sort out entries people had mailed in to one or other competition. And there was one entry from a dude called Duplicate. Why would someone name a child Duplicate?
J-a-T: Well a few years ago I had this job at a company dealing with pensions. I used to take pictures of the old people and write their stories up for a little publication. So one day there was this really, really old grandfather who came in with his ID. So I thought there was a mistake because I could not believe his name, so I asked for his birth certificate and it was true - no mistakes. His name was Flying Squad.
JJ: No ways! How can a geriatric be called Flying Squad?
J-a-T: For sure man. So then I saw his little grandson and I asked him, what is your grandfather's name. And he says 'My grandfather? He is Flying Squad.'" Now we have this new soccer player who called his kid Cellular. But for sure, my favourite is Flying Squad. And now Two Minutes. That's also the best!

Busy, busy, busy!

Busy day! Busy day!
Early this morning a bunch of bus owners and drivers who make their living ferrying foreigners backwards and forwards to countries around the continent made a monumental stand this morning by blocking off the entire Harrison Street bridge with their buses. So off I ran to cover the action and found a bunch of them arguing with Metro cops who were trying to convince them to move.
Turned out to be a protest against the closure of the cross-border bus terminus. Quickly cleared up, but I met a guy from Zim with a fab name: Two Minutes. Serious!
Back to the office and get tasked with finding out why people are mysteriously being turned away from the zoo. Brilliant! An escaped lion? Someone forgot to lock the snake enclosure? A polar bear on the loose? No such luck I'm afraid. Just a bunch of staffers striking illegally - most of them cashiers so they couldn't open up the ticket office or rent out buggies and stuff. Bit of a let down.
On to the next story. Turned out to be a beaut. Jeremy Mansfield of the Rude Awakening on Highveld Stereo has been telling strings of jokes about illegal Zimbabwean immigrants, all starring one Lovemore Sibanda and his brothers Tupperware and Eat-Sum-More. (I actually think Two Minutes tops those names!) So Highveld has been collecting the jokes to put on a CD called The Sibanda Files.
Then on the weekend a baby girl from a Bulawayo orphanage was brought to Jozi to undergo an operation to have a tumour removed from her chest. Her name is Nobuhle Sibanda. So a Rude Awakening executive decision was made that all proceeds from the sale of The Sibanda Files will go to cover baby Sibanda's medical costs.
How sweet is that? There might be a lot of horrible stuff happening in Joburg, but there are plenty of great things too! Much to love about this city.