Friday, February 13, 2009

Venturing out

Shopping or actually any kind of out-in-public venture with a three-year-old in tow is not for the faint-hearted. Especially if said three-year-old is a friendly, outgoing and alarmingly honest. It's a heart-stopping combination! Venturing out of the house with such a child takes guts, I have discovered.
Little One recently came across one of those fancy feathered glittery face pieces popularly worn at masked balls. And she loved it. A lot. She could not be convinced to leave it in the car for anything. As I wheeled her round the supermarket in the trolley she squawked and screached from behind the fussy feathers. "I'm a pawwot!" she would explain if anyone looked at her too intently or for too long.
Another time we were strolling the local mall when Little One was suddenly quite taken by a woman's pale floral blouse.
"Look mom. That lady is wearing pyjamas," she stated at the top of her voice. I still cringe inside when I think about it.
And those smart little queueing aisles that Woolies has, leading up to the banks of tills, are more mini prisons than paragons of order for moms. There's just no escape when a small person starts a loud conversation that you would rather not be part of, and trying to shoosh things only makes matters worse.
A man has just fallen victim to Little One's casual chatting in one such situation. There he was, quietly minding his own business as he stood patiently in the queue behind us.
"Mom, why is that man drinking coke?" she asked, as Embarrassed Guy stood silently with a can in his hand.
"Because he is thirsty," I replied simply.
Of course my word is not good enough and she has to check this out for herself.
"Man, are you thirsty hey?" Little One asks him directly as he goes slightly pink, looks in the other direction and sucks intently on his straw. He says not a word.
Down but not out, she turns back to me: "What is his name?"
"I don't know," I respond quickly.
"So is that man a daddy, hey mom?"
"If he has any children, then he is a dad, yes".
By this time Embarrassed Guy is scarlet, shuffling his feet and running out of places to gaze in any kind of casual fashion. He is not digging the attention, nor is he gonna talk to her.
She continues undaunted: "Man, do you have any kiddies? Are you a daddy?"
I have never been so relieved, nor have I ever moved so quickly when the irritating recording sounded: "Next customer, please."


  1. oh my goodness i needed that giggle!
    thank you!
    ooh- and don't you just hate how they line those very same queue aisles with easily-pram-reachable magazines/ lip ice/ sweeties...!??!?

  2. I remember going to Mauritius when i was about 12 and my brother was about 7. There were women tannign topless. We'd never seen anything like it. As we walked past a row on our way to the beach, my mom whispered to my dad, "If I had breasts like cockerspaniel's ears I wouldn't tan topless!"

    She had no idea my brother had heard her. Until we walked back. "Look mom!" He shouted at the top of his little lungs. "It's the lady with the cockyspaniel's ear boobs!"

  3. Glad to hear I am not alone, girls.
    Tam - your brother is a riot! I bet your mom just died!